After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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