My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
you had me at cake vodka
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
