im six kinds of drunk right now
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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