i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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