but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
