kristin has been a bad kristin
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
