She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
