so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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