Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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