i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
