It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
