I'm going to jail i love you
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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