I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
