Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
another moral hangover. fuck.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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