he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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