All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
