Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
