Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
