I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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