Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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