i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
