I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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