Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
