I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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