I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
