those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
