Fine. I'll sleep in my office
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
