ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
