I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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