dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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