I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
