No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Randomize
