Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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