he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
