I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
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