I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
