How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
