Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
