mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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