I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
