I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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