Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
