im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize