Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
