people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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