the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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