She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
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