matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
