The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize