How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
