with your own penis?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
from now on my penis is your penis
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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