I want to stick my p in your. b.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
nutella sex= disaster
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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