Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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