god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
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