3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Holy shit dude........stairs
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
