Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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