with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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