Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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