well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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