And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
