Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
