i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
